Yes, I am a fool. Hey you, I am talking to you, are you listening? Are you there? Okay, I need to stop. Alright.
Sometimes I really wonder, why I am the way I am? What makes me ME? I feel like the most dumbest being on this planet. And trust me, I am not even ashamed of it.
When I was little, my Mommy tells me that I used to wear my chapals(sandals) in a wrong order. I wasn’t smart enough to know which one do I suppose to wear on my left foot and which one on my right. I was quite satisfied being overly fashionable, experimenting different things in my innocence without even aware of it( I was a dumb head).
Also, there is this another story when I got lost. Not literally, but was responsible for creating a thunder at my house. It was my first day in a new school, a new place. I had this habit of using my cute little brain too much some times. God knows from where these stupid ideas and thoughts comes in my mind. As I said it was my first day in this school, I got ready, packed my bag and went to school in a school bus.
Nothing strange, everything fine and normal. But this little kid(me) inside this school bus had different plans. When school was over and all the children rushed off towards their school buses, I thought why not to go home by foot. I would get to know the city, look here and there, watch people, trees and meet cute little puppies( what can be better?)
Okay, I gotta stop lying. Let’s just spill out the truth.
So, this kid basically thought that school buses are only for taking you to school and it’s not their job to bring you back to home when the school is over. So, I had no other option left, except to come home on my own.
My parents were worried, the school bus came and they didn’t found their child in the bus. And, then they saw this tiny little girl, carrying this huge bag, twice her size, face all red with the deadly heat and dust. I know what you guys might be thinking. WHY AM I EVEN READING THIS SHIT ?
Well, I don’t know. But, there is more to come. Stay.
This habit of mine reminds me of Monica from this American drama ‘Friends’. During my childhood I was very fond of cleaning . Everything needed to be clean and in order for me( forget about the sandals part). I was such a cleaning freak that one day I just took up all the towels, put them on hangers and kept them inside an almirah.
My mother was like who stole all the towels from the home. I acted like I don’t even know what is she talking about( I guess my memory was also weak. Ah! poor girl). When she came to know it was her little girl again, I must tell you, she wasn’t happy at all(turned into a monster Mommy) and gave me a lecture for my stupid deeds, as usual.
There are tons of stories like these. But, I also have some self respect. So, let’s not talk about them.
So, why am I talking all this shit or nonsense or my childhood “great deeds”?
Honestly, I don’t know. Don’t you think sometimes you should write, just for the sake of writing?
I have this habit of messing up things all the time. As you guys can now tell from the stories that I have narrated. Don’t you think we all are like this in some or the other way? We keep messing up things, sometimes maybe in our innocence just like a little kid, unaware about the consequences of our actions.
But, we do know the decisions we are taking or the choices we are making, where they are going to take us. We do know the things we are about to say to the other person, are going to hurt them or maybe us, but still we don’t step back from abusing and screaming at people.
I do agree that we usually say things out of frustration, anger or many other reasons and then just regret that maybe I wasn’t supposed to say this and start wondering that maybe it was a mistake. This happens with all of us and it just keeps on killing us from inside and fills us with guilt.
So, what can we do about it?
You can easily find tons of results on google on how to control your anger and stuff. But, come on, we are humans, we are masters in screwing up things again and again.
Just say anything against my friend and I will curse you with the most worst words ever and beat the hell out of you. You did something to hurt me, now just wait and watch, I am gonna do much worse to you.
Whether you agree with me or not, but we guys are really acting like this nowadays, carrying high egos and revengeful attitude.
Can’t be just forgive the person if he is really sorry for whatever he did? We make mistakes tons of times and expect people to forgive us, but when it comes to forgiving others, what happens to us? Why we don’t even try to see things from others perspective?
I know sometimes people do hurt us so bad and it becomes really hard for us to forget about it, but don’t you think it’s our choice to whether we want to remain stuck with the issue or move on? We keep screwing up things again and again, believe it or not, it’s in our nature, it makes us human. No one is perfect after all.
It’s ok to mess up, but more important is to have a good heart and everything is fine.